Mini With The Lot
A guy wins a big fortune in the lottery so he goes down to his local Rolls Royce dealer and orders a new Rolls with every possible option fitted. A couple of days later he picks up his new car and drives it proudly down the street. At the first set of traffic lights he pulls up beside an bloke in a Mini.
Wanting to boast about his new car he calls out to the Mini driver "Hey, do you like my new car? It's a Rolls with all the options. Absolutely everything that can be fitted".
The Mini driver replies "So what, I bet you don't have a double bed in there".
"You can't have a double be in a car".
"Yes you can" replies the Mini driver, "I've got one".
"What you've got a double bed in your Mini?" says the Rolls driver in disbelief.
"Sure do, pull over and I'll show you".
So they pull over to the side of the road and the Rolls driver looks inside the Mini and sure enough there's a double bed in the back. Well the Rolls driver is furious. He races back the the Rolls dealer and says
"Look I said I wanted everything fitted to my car. I want a double bed fitted"
"But you can't fit a double bed in a car, sir" says the dealer.
"I don't care. I've just seen a Mini with one fitted so I want one in my Rolls"
"Yes, sir" says the dealer, "we'll see what we can do".
A couple of days later the dealers calls up and says the Rolls is ready with a double bed fitted. The guy goes and picks up his car with the smug feeling that he isn't being out done by a Mini driver. Further down the road he sees the Mini parked on the side of the road rocking from side to side with it's windows all steamed up.
"Right" thinks the Rolls owner, "I'll show him whose got the best car".
So he does a U turn, parks beside the Mini, gets out and knocks on the Mini's window. There's no response so he knocks again. Still no response so he knocks harder a third time. The Mini's window winds down and the rather irate Mini driver pokes his head out.
"Who's knocking on my car, oh it's you" he says recognising the Rolls driver, "What do you want?"
"I've got a double bed in my Rolls" gloats the Rolls driver.
"What!" says the Mini driver, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that."
Elephants in a Mini
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a Mini?
A. Four. Two in the front and two in the back.
Q: How can you tell if there's an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: By the footprints in the butter.
Q: How can you tell if there are four elephants in your refrigerator?
A: Because there's a Mini parked outside it.
Q. How many giraffes will fit in a Mini?
A. None. It's full of elephants.
Collected by Dean Cording
Please, please send us some new ones :)
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