|You know you're a Miniac when|
- you avoid carrying passengers because it adversely affects your Mini's performance.
- you work out your bonus / tax return / lottery winnings by the number of Minis you can buy.
- there have been more Minis in your life than pets / children / significant others.
- you have enough Minis that you choose which one to drive according to your mood / the weather / the colour of your clothes / which one is currently running.
- your significant other removes the M section of the Cars For Sale part of the paper before they let you read it.
- you don't consider going on holiday without your Mini, even if it means leaving behind the children / significant other.
- you only consider buying things that can fit inside your Mini.
- you've moved house using only your Mini.
- you've done it in your Mini.
- you only do it in your Mini.
- you do it WITH your Mini.
- you can identify tools by their BMC part numbers.
- you own more than one specialised Mini tool.
- you have a credit account with your local Mini parts supplier.
- you celebrate your Mini's birthday.
- you've bought your Mini a Christmas present.
- you've imported Mini parts from overseas.
- you've exported Mini parts to overseas.
- you've used the excuse 'But Officer, my tiny little car couldn't possibly go THAT fast to get out of a speeding ticket.
- you've grown to like the used oil colour of the garage floor.
- you still own your original Mini even though it hasn't moved for years and is quitely rusting away in the backyard.
- the same applies to all subsequent Minis you own.
- you vet prospective purchasers of your Mini to ensure it will go to a good home.
- your non-working Minis out number your working ones.
- you took into consideration how many Minis would fit into the garage / backyard when looking for a new house.
- you've consider making a piece of furniture using a Mini.
- you have made a piece of furniture using a Mini.
by Dean Cording
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